Throughout my different careers and thirty-five years of life experiences, the things I learned and experienced helped me settle at age thirty-five. I have lived in different countries, states, and cities for my career and just because. Each place holds a special memory I’ll never forget. From friends, favorite places, fun night outs, etc. However, moving so many times and relocating forced me to settle early. I now live in El Paso, TX. Ironically, I always wanted to live in Texas, and I wanted to settle in the Southwest or the West Coast. I spent the majority of my life on the East Coast, so I wanted to settle in a different environment in my late thirties.

I read an article that talks about the benefits of relocating for your career, a higher income, or better opportunities.

I moved 5 times for my career and financial security, but it backfired. My last move was for love.

After a while, you realize you really just want to be happy. Yes, your income is important for stability. Your connections could be beneficial for your career, and a certain location could change your life forever. Staying put can change your life. All during my late teens, twenties, and early thirties, I moved, relocated, traveled and was always on the go (minus the pandemic). I never stopped. Before the pandemic, I knew I wanted to settle before age forty. During the pandemic, I knew I was ready to settle. At age thirty-four, I began the process to settle. It was challenging and I wasn’t fully prepared enough. There are many factors to settling.

I lived overseas in my 20s and 30s. Now, in my 40s, I’m learning that there’s value in staying put.

Here are the pros and cons of settling:

Cons

Cost

Once you have decided to settle, you realize how much money you need to actually survive. Over the years, prior to settling, you spend a lot of money. Most of the time, wasting it and not saving. Prior to settling, make sure you are prepared financially because just like relocating to another place – you don’t know what unexpected costs may appear.

Career

By the time you settle, you may not want to continue with the same career or job. I’m a Former CEO who for years prior to this – prepared myself to go into the medical field.

Lifestyle

I moved from a major city (Manhattan, NY) to a small town (El Paso, TX). There is a major difference, but in my case – in a positive way. I wanted to settle in a small town. My focus was community and a simple life. Switching lifestyles can be hard depending on what you are expecting when you settle in an unfamiliar place.

Environment

The environment you choose to settle in may not be good. I moved from a place with toxic air and I am living in a place with toxic air. The air not only affects me, but also my pets. Economically, I will never make the same amount of money I was making in New York or any of the places I lived, in El Paso. I’m sure if I work multiple jobs, I could reach the level of finances I once had; however, I no longer want to face the hustle and bustle I faced prior to settling.

Dating

Dating can be difficult if you are looking to get married or have children. Age, status, preference, and location play a major role in your dating life. Even if you are just looking for a partner, depending on the area – you may not find what you are looking for or what you are used to.

Pros

You’re settled! You now know where you will be living for the rest of your life. You’re about to embark on a new journey. Now, it’s time to build up your new life in your forever home. I would recommend starting on a positive note so that the transition can be as smooth as possible for you and your remaining goals.

Relationships

Now that you’re settled, it’s time to meet new people. Develop new friendships and personal relationships. You are starting with a clean slate in a new place, so meeting people at the beginning may lead to long lasting friendships.

Memories

It’s time to make new memories. You have decided to settle in life, so the best thing to do from the beginning is to start making memories to talk about later in life. Go to events, host parties, volunteers, hang out with other people and explore their world. Learn new things, specifically within your new country, state, or city.

Settling can be exciting, but it can also be a realization that this is it. This is a good time to reflect on the past to focus on what you want and don’t want in your new life. Reflect on the good and the bad of your past, but don’t stay there. You don’t want to start your new life with old habits. Let this time in your life be a moment of simple living. Embrace and enjoy!